02. create & inspire.

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July 10, 2010

forgotten, not? important, not? tell me.. @ 1:07 AM

darling, tell me..

am i really forgotten?

am i no longer important?

" bébé je suis en attente pour vous..

vous me manquez tellement. "

do you know what does this sentence means?

it means, ..

" baby i am waiting for you.. i miss you so much. "

yeah.. i am still waiting for you..

i am still missing you..

from the start i didn't forget about you.

i never did..

i know, i know what you seen..

but you know it's not true..

you know it..

things are not what it seems to be...

the words you say..

hurts me, deeply..

you never knew how i feel..

you never try to understand!

yeah.. i know i did hurt you too..

but didn't you hurt me?

i don't understand why must things be this way..

people around me lying to me..

one by one leaving by my side..

now even you are going to leave me..

or you already left me?

i don't know..

the way you speak to me..

seems.. seems like how we use to be..

the way you scolds me still the same..

every arguments we had....

i don't know why.. but..

every single time when i think about it..

i cannot help it but to smile..

every single time when you shattered my heart..

it hurts.. hurts badly..

but i don't know why i still love you so much..

silly much? yeah i am silly..

i am the fool who fall in love with an retarded. :3

a stupid retarded that cannot see how much i love him.

how much i need him..

how much i miss him..

stupid much! you are such a slow brain-er!

can't you think fast abit?

i am standing the same old spot..

same spot waiting for you to turn back for me..

i am lost.. i don't know which way to go..

i don't wish to walk ahead alone..

nor walk away with a stranger..

i don't want to go anywhere without you.

no matter how many time you shattered my heart..

cannot compare the feeling of being ignored or alone.

my life is full of regrets..

but i don't want you to be one of my regrets..

i never want you to be... tell me..

give me a sign...

are you coming back for me?

or you not turning back at all.. tell me..

don't give me false hope..

don't give let me wander out alone too long..

July 07, 2010

bored. (: meeting yanping! @ 12:01 PM

matin!

Je me suis réveillé de mon sommeil de beauté à!

Je rencontre mon meilleur ami il

ya pour le déjeuner .. (:

Ennuyeux .. si longtemps ne la voyais pas déjà ..

aller à la rencontre chat chat ..

faire un peu de rattrapage ..Après cela,

allez rencontrer un mec pour le déjeuner aussi!

Ouais, déjeuners tant ..

ne vous inquiétez pas ..

je peux manger tous mes repas,

je suis un gros mangeur si je veux .. hahaha!

je pensais à tellement de choses ..

Je pense à lui .. oui, mon amour ..

Je ne peux pas oublier lui ..

mais est-ce important?

il ne semble s'en soucier ..

Je suis toujours en

attente de son appel ..

Je suis toujours en attente pour

lui de me retenir me disant qu'il a

besoin de moi et qu'il me veut à ses côtés ..

mais je pense que c'est juste un rêve sans espoir ..

même si maintenant

je portais ma robe de mariage

et d'épouser un autre homme,

il ne viendra pas m'arrêter ..

il ne me détacher du gars et

pour moi de ne pas l'épouser..

il ne le fera pas ..

il vient .. ne m'aime plus ..

je ne peux toujours pas oublier

que vous ne vous connais pas?

Je suis toujours en attente ..

sérieux, vous êtes un idiot? êtes-vous né retardé?

tu ne vois pas mes indications?

ça fait vraiment mal me si mal de vous voir

à ignorer tout cela et s'éloigner de moi ..

ça fait mal ne vous connais pas?

Je veux dire à toi bébé,

je donnerais encore le monde pour vous ..

Croyez-moi .. je .. Je t'aime.

July 06, 2010

wedding dress. (: @ 2:03 AM

니가 그와 다투고

niga geuwa datugo

때론 그 땜에 울고

ttaeron geu ttaeme ulgo

힘들어 할 때면 난 희망을 느끼고

himdeureo hal ttaemyeon nan huimangeul neukkigo

아무도 모르게 맘 아-아-아프고

amudo moreuge mam a-a-apeugo

니작은 미소면 또 담담해지고

nijageun misomyeon tto damdamhaejigo

니가 혹시나 내 마음을 알게 될까봐

niga hoksina nae maeumeul alge doelkkabwa

알아버리면 우리 멀어지게 될까봐

arabeorimyeon uri meoreojige doelkkabwa

난 숨을 죽여

nan sumeul jug yeo

또 입술을 깨물어

tto ipsureul kkaemureo

제발 그를 떠나 내게 오길

jebal geureul tteona naege ogil

Baby 제발 그의 손을 잡지마

Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima

Cuz you should be my Lady

오랜 시간 기다려온 날 돌아봐줘

oraen sigan gidaryeo on nal dorabwajwo

노래가 울리면 이제 너는

noraega ullimyeon ije neoneun

그와 평생을 함께하죠

geuwa pyeongsaengeul hamkkehajyo

오늘이 오지 않기를

oneuri oji ankireul

그렇게 나 매일 밤 기도했는데

geureoke na maeil bam gidohaenneunde

네가 입은 웨딩드레스

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

네가 입은 웨딩드레스

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

네가 입은 웨딩드레스

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

내 맘을 몰라줬던

nae mameul mollajwotdeon

네가 너무 미워서

nega neomu miwoseo

가끔은 네가 불행하길 난 바랬어

gakkeumeun nega bulhaenghagil nan baraesseo

이미 내 눈물은 다 마 마 마르고

imi nae nunmureun da ma ma mareugo

버릇처럼 혼자 너에게 말하고

beoreutcheoreom honja neoege malhago

매일 밤 그렇게 불안했던걸 보면 난

maeil bam geureoke buranhaetdeongeol bomyeon nan

이렇게 될꺼란 건 알았는지도 몰라

ireoke doelkkeoran geon aranneunjido molla

난 눈을 감아

nan nuneul gama

끝이 없는 꿈을 꿔

kkeuchi eomneun kkumeul kkwo

제발 그를 떠나 내게 오길

jebal geureul tteona naege ogil

Baby 제발 그의 손을 잡지마

Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima

Cuz you should be my Lady

오랜 시간 기다려온 날 돌아봐줘

oraen sigan gidaryeo on nal dorabwajwo

노래가 울리면 이제 너는

noraega ullimyeon ije neoneun

그와 평생을 함께하죠

geuwa pyeongsaengeul hamkkehajyo

오늘이 오지 않기를

oneuri oji ankireul

그렇게 나 매일 밤 기도했는데

geureoke na maeil bam gidohaenneunde

네가 입은 웨딩드레스

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

네가 입은 웨딩드레스

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

네가 입은 웨딩드레스

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

부디 그와 행복해

budi geuwa haengbokhae

너를 잊을 수 있게

neoreul ijeul su itge

내 초라했던 모습들은 다 잊어줘

nae chorahaetdeon moseupdeureun da ijeojwo

비록 한동안은

birok handonganeun  no oh

나 죽을 만큼 힘이 들겠지만

na jugeul mankeum himi deulgetjiman no oh

너무 오랜 시간을 착각 속에

neomu oraen siganeul chakgak soge

홀로 바보처럼 살았죠

hollo babocheoreom saratjyo

아직도 내 그녀는 날 보고

ajikdo nae geunyeoneun nal bogo

새 하얗게 웃고 있는데

sae hayake utgo inneunde

네가 입은 웨딩드레스

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

네가 입은 웨딩드레스

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

네가 입은 웨딩드레스

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

July 05, 2010

what if? @ 6:21 PM

만약에… 소년,

`무엇 나는 당신의 가장 중대한 사랑이다.

나는 나의 결혼 예복을 착용하고 있다.

그러나…

나가 결혼하기 위하여 려고 하고 있는 녀석과 당신이 아니다?.

의지가 당신 하는 무엇을?.

July 01, 2010

i don't wish to go.. know something? i love you still.. @ 3:09 PM

hey peopleeee! (:

i will mia from everything from today onwards.

Maple, Facebook, Msn, what so ever..

both house phone & phone i will not be answering

anyone calls or replying anyone messages.

well.. life is hard for me..

painful & full of sadness..

really, how does it feels when you sees..

someone you really love.. really really love..

somehow like.. kissing with another girl..

i felt something i never felt before ..

hurt.. not just any hurt..

the feeling like a knife stabbed into my tummy.

digging my tummy out...

than dragging the knife up to my throat..

tearing my throat apart..

that's how i feel now.

i know he don't seems to care..

i understand why..

i totally understand why.

i know i am not pretty enough.

i know i am not smart enough..

i know i am not understanding enough..

i am not good enough. i know. i know.

i know i am not good..

i am not even up to the standard of an average girl.

i am sorry alright..

it's too late.. isn't it?

i have no where to go..

i have no one to turn to.

i have nothing left.

i don't have any more pride in me.

i don't have any more courage left in me.

i got so much to say to you.

so much.. i don't know where to start..

but when i start..

i don't know how to end.

i never want all this to end!

i lost everything.

even you.

even if i am going to eat up 20 over pills now.

you ain't going to care.

you ain't coming to save me.

i am not important anymore..

haha.. so silly of me.

yes i am silly.

but guess what?

at least i still have that bit of guts to say.

I Love You, Only You..

My Stupid Love, Darren Ho. (:

maple sea just dont keep their words. @ 1:54 AM

boring...

turn & toss around my bed for 3hours +

from 4+ to 7+ than i fall asleep..

i woke up after awhile..

this morning was so pissed off..

so many things made me so upset.

1st of all. yeah. boy problem -.-

but that's over for me. (:

2nd is MapleSea not keeping their words.

take a look at this forum tread.

http://forums.asiasoftsea.net/showthread.php?t=817855

they are unfair to me.

i am 1st to level 200 evan in aquila.

but i got the same prize as the 2nd.

what the fuck. worst..

the orb of fire wand & the necklace they gave me..

sucks... SUCKS SERIOUSLY.

7slots average orb. & necklace untradeable.

can't even SOK to sell it.

even if can. i bet no1 wants it. (:

take a look at the screen shots.

June 30, 2010

addicted. (: @ 2:19 PM

since u went away its been one year two months

but it just dun seem like yesterday we were still together

time has passed and things have changed so

why do i feel this way

cos you're with somebody else

and im with somebody else but

whenever i think about the the love we had

it hurts so bad

whenever i think about the love we made

i said that i'd be strong

girl i really thought that i'd move on

but still i find myself asking

do u still think of me like i think about u

do u still dream of me cos i cant sleep without u

tell me if time should make a change

then why do i feel the same

your love has got me addicted

said i dont know

when im with a chick and hittin it girl i call your name

said i dont know

when i be with somebody else i push them away

tell me if time should make a change

then why do i feel the same

i know i gotta move on but im so addicted to u

its been long enough dont know why im still holding on

if i had a wish babe i would turn back the hands of time

cos u dont know what u got untill its gone

its the reason why im writing u this song

girl im slippin and i dont know what to do

girl i admit it, im sick over u

damn i realised my mistake, my pride got in the way

i should have begged u to stay

do u still think of me like i think about u

do u still dream of me cos i cant sleep without u

tell me if time should make a change

then why do i feel the same

your love has got me addicted

said i dont know

when im with a chick and hittin it girl i call your name

said i dont know

when i be with somebody else i push them away

tell me if time should make a change

then why do i feel the same

i know i gotta move on but im so addicted to u

if u ever lost someone u truely love

let me hear u say yeah

and if u lost someone u truely need

let me hear u say yeah

do u still think of me like i think about u

do u still dream of me cos i cant sleep without u

tell me if time should make a change

then why do i feel the same

your love has got me addicted

said i dont know

when im with a chick and hittin it girl i call your name

said i dont know

when i be with somebody else i push them away

tell me if time should make a change

then why do i feel the same

i know i gotta move on but im so addicted to u

_______________________________________

why need to lie? sucks. - ltr gg out with Travis ♥ @ 9:52 AM

fuck you bastard!

nabei cheebye you.

making everything seems my fault.

but the truth is you fucking just..

want to be with another girl!

fucking bastard la you.

thinking that you won't lie to me again.

but yeah. i have to get use to it.

trying to make use of me as your maple tool?

no way. trying to scam me?

fuck you understand.

need bishop to help leveling?

just kindly ask your current girlfriend.

after today seeing how bastard people like you are.

really disappoints me.

thinking what you have change..

but no. it's all just an act.

lying to me.. as usual. fine..

but why lie to your friends?

lie to them that you loves & misses me.

pcb sucks!

you want to be with other girls.

okay de. but why need to lie?

really dam sucks..

one sentence for you..

- last long with her. :D

i give you my 100% blessing..

weeeweeeweeeee!

okay going to get some rest now...

after that going out for movies with Travis..

muahahaha!

we going to watch Toy Story 3 yay!

thanks Travis for pei-ing me nah! ):

you most sweet & loving la okays?

other guys kanasai ! :x ♥

no matter what you do.. i am never ever turning back.. @ 5:06 AM

so many problems..

so little help..

i can't cope with all this drama!

fuck this world.

fuck this damn life of mine.

i hate all this.

i don't want all this.

every time something bad happens..

i will ask myself,

why will i be in this world?

why must i?

if i have a choice,

i will choose to just be a non-living thing.

being me is so hard..

everyday facing different kind of problems.

tears & hurt becoming something normal for me.

hating myself, as usual..

wishing all this didn't happen..

wishing i didn't move from CCK to TiongBahru.

wishing i never knew you.

yeah i know, i know..

no one can hurt one. only one can hurt one's self.

holding me up so high..

making me feel like i am the only one..

making me think that we are meant to be..

it's just all part of your plan..

your plan to just see me fall down to hell.

& get hurt again..

seeing me cry is your happiness, isn't it?

laughters.. :D

getting use to the pain.

fuck-ed. seriously..

every single time when i need you.

you are never ever there for me.

not you.. at all.

always is some other guy..

even if it's some guy along the road..

seeing a girl cry.. seeing a girl needs help.

they will help.. but they are just strangers!

how about us?

we are not strangers..

we are worst than that!

for god dam sake.

i am just like an enemy to you.

seeing me in need of help.

you just leave me there to die.

do you know how hurtful it is?

you just plainly don't understand why don't you?

i cared.. i worried.. all this..

what does it mean to you?

it all just mean that i controlling you?

fuck it seriously..

yeah. like you said..

you got alot of girls..

and i am not short of guys.

go ahead. (:

find other girls for all i care.

i don't mind.. & i don't care.

i don't wish to care.

if i care? what will you say?

lame, care so much for what.

yeah. i jolly well fuck off right? (:

dammit.. dam this all.

fuck this pcb argument!

i hate this kind of feeling..

you want to do what than do ba.

i promise you this la hor.

i will never look back again.

i will never ever fall into your fuck dam trap again.

even if you are going to ...

stab me, take gun point me,

scold me, beg me, take money throw me.

i will never ever going to look back anymore.

we should have just stay as hating each other.

that position.. why must all this happen?

fuck it _l_ .

June 29, 2010

living nightmares. @ 7:37 AM

horrible.. just horrible..

so many nightmares in one night.

wondering what they means..

i am scared..

scare to fall asleep..

every time when i just close my eyes..

& fall asleeppp..

boom! all the nightmares began..

there were zombies & vampires.

even worst -.-.

my top few most HATE ex boyfriends.

people eating people! ._.

even ghosts.

seriously. what the fuck..

a gathering for my most fearest things?

freak it seriously...

& the last worst thing can happen is..

waking up 6am in the morning..

called your date for today...

& he says.. he is too tired..

he wants to sleep.

don't want to meet already.

that's the worst thing could happen.

.. without him explaining why..

& expected me to understand.

i just don't understand..

yeah i know. i know.

i am not so understanding.

can't you just take out 5mins to explain?

better than let me wild guess..

& make both of us unhappy?

i just don't know what to do.

i am looking forward for today.

seriously i am.

everything...

everything just crush like that.

so disappointed...

i don't know what to do or say now..

haix. everything is so wrong today..

i don't blame you at all.

really i don't.. i just blame myself for that.

(: sweet dreams my idiotic boy.

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