02. create & inspire.

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February 09, 2010

i am not a liar. @ 3:36 AM

what am i thinking?

what am i hoping for?

i don't know anymore.

after today.

after i went Tiong Park.

i don't know what i want.

i don't know who am i anymore.

i made myself this way.

i making him cleaning up my mess.

i am so sorry.

i know no matter how many times.

i said, " i am sorry."

it will not cure..

i thought i am sure.

but now i am not.

somehow i am misunderstood.

but i made people misunderstand me.

i said too much things i not suppose to say.

i got so sick till i vomited blood.

i know i can't be pure & innocent anymore.

but i still can be that cheerful..

& the girl who still believes.

believe that everyone is good.

i still believe.

i do believe.

& i will believe.

i am just trying to make you..

make you taste your own medicine.

saying things that you don't meant it.

that's what i am doing now.

i am sorry i thought of this.

even if i won.

i won't feel happy at all.

so what i won.

there's no prize.

& i don't feel happy at all.

in your eyes.

i am a liar.

yea.

in my eyes. you were too.

cause i am just acting like you now.

i don't meant what i say.

you can scold me.

you can hate me.

but what i can say is.

i am sorry.

i know. i never tried to be..

be your good girlfriend.

even if i tried hard enough.

it's not good enough for you.

at times..

you act as if you don't care.

you act as if you don't love.

but everyone knows.

you do.

you are too proud to admit it.

cause of your face.

it's so easy to say.

than done.

i said i will forget you.

but it's harder than i thought.

i know. it's my fault for having feelings.

having feelings with some1 i shouldn't have.

but did you ever think.

why am i trying this way?

best not to say. (:

but somehow you know.

i can change everything.

i can act as if i don't care.

i can pretend i don't know.

but i can't change everything.

for example.

the dam meaningless song.

& i can't act as if i don't care.

cause i do care..

further more..

i can't pretend i don't know.

cause i do know.

i got eyes & ears to see & hear.

i know...

i also know you are always checking on me.

through my blog.

through your di.

i know..

i say things to make you angry

but didn't you do the same thing too?

maybe till now.

you still says i am a liar.

i do mind what you think of me.

but. i can't do anything anymore.

i still haven cure my problem

that you wanted me to fix

but i am trying to cure it now.

so what?

yea i know i am not your girl anymore.

but a promise is a promise.

a deal is a deal.

even if you are not going to keep it.

but i am so sorry to say.

i am going to deal it.

i am going to make me alright.

not just for the sake of the promise.

the sake of my mother.

my sister.

& people who cares bout me.

i will show you.

i will show this dam world.

i will cure.

& be that girl.

i used to be.

use to be 2years ago.

i must.

i will.

& i can.

even if you don't believe i can do it.

i believe i can do it.

my sister believes too.

3 things to say.

Jiayou.

Thanks.

& Sorry.

`Loves ♥.

End.

-She Don't Need Anyone to Hold Her Anymore.-
-She will be fine without Training Wheels.-

`Smiling Without You. (:
`Strong Without You. ♥.

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