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February 21, 2010
so upsetting... @ 12:54 PM
didn't blog ytd.
was too tired about loads of things.
wanted to end my life again.
but didn't..
i cried my heart out ytd.
i can't believe she no longer trust me.
guys really made things hard for us.
made things hard for us, girls.
i hate them.
i trust people too easily.
i trust everyone of them.
wholeheartedly without doubt.
how could they betray my trust this way.
it hurts so much.
my life is boring..
not say boring. its too dramatic!
it's too much for me.
it hurts..
yesterday morning.
i msged Yanping to go out with me.
she agreed.
so yeah. about 12.
we reached at tiong.
with my sister.
we went to b1 to eat.
met Yanping there.
after we eaten..
we saw Melvin & his friend.
& he msged Yanping saying.
wa S.H.E ah?
lol. i hate S.H.E the most de =.=.
i wear grey beanie & shirt.
so cute (:
after eating.
we left for FarEast.
went there walkwalk.
went to loads of places.
smoke... donated money =.=?
so many school student doing CIP.
lol. play games...
wanted to watch movie.
but nothing nice to watch.
actually got movie we wanted to watch.
but haven show ._. LOL! (:
walk around town..
so boring..~ leg hurting.
waiting for daddy to come.
waited from 1+ to 6 for him =.=.
he is so so so slow...
while waiting for him.
me. yanping & charlene.
talked.. gossip..
told ghost stories.
we even on music & dance.
i dance until i nearly fall backwards
fromt he table.
they all laughed at me.
i really kana scared.
LOL~ fucking sian.
wait & wait & wait for him..
saw alot shuai ge :x
LOOKING AT MEEEE !
cause i look too cute ): haha!
after that daddy came at 6.
with John ^^.
John is 17 this year too.
but than he look like 19. =.=.
didn't believe he is same age as me.
than he show me his IC.
he is really 17 this year =.=!
LOL.
after that.
we went to Queensway.
they wanted to play pool.
so yea i agreed.
walked to the bus stop.
so freaking far.
i am so tired.
didn't sleep yesterday..
once we went up the bus.
i str8 sleep on daddy's shoulder.
i was so so sleepy..
than when i woke up.
daddy said.
" you look so cute when you sleep.
i took a picture of you when you sleeping. "
i str8 woke up.
as i was shocked.
than i say.
" HUH?! REALLY!? "
lol then he smile & look away (:
stupid daddy right? LOL.
than i took out the Black Beanie
i brought for him (:
he wore it.
look so cute in it ^^.
he wore it everywhere.
went up the pool there.
i seat on the sofa.
than for while later..
i fall asleep..
for about 1hour +.
i am so so sleepy..
than daddy call me wake up.
they are going off.
went to XiaoBai House..
& i even fall asleep there.
was too tired really..
after awhile went down to eat.
after they eaten.
me & daddy stay behind
they said they are going up to wash up.
but after that they didn't come down at all.
they stay upstairs playing their game =.=.
me & daddy was left alone below the block.
than someone called.
we talked about things.
i was really disappointed & upset.
after we hang up.
talked to daddy..
i was so sad.
i kept repeating OneTime again..
made me think of sad memoriies.
i cried.
i walked to another block.
called Xiang.
Talked to him.
Cried my heart out..
told him everything.
what happened everything..
he don't know how to comfort me.
so he just keep on listening to my problems.
i really didn't know what to do anymore.
at that point i really want to just kill myself.
begging god to just kill me.
take me away from this horrible world.
too much things happen to me.
i have been suffering for almost 2years.
2years..
i can't take in another year.
i really too tired for anything.
i can't really smile anymore.
my head hurts so badly everytime i cry.
i didn't know why.
i guess cause last time
everytime i am sad or angry.
i will bang my head against things.
till i have problems remembering things.
even important things.
i can forget it completely.
i forgotten so much things.
but why can't i forget the past i had?
i wished i walk out to the road.
& get bang by a car
& hurt my head so badly.
i forget everything.
forget everyone i know.
forget this past i had.
i really wish that could happen..
cried for almost an hour.
called my mother.
& i head home..
daddy fetch me to the bus stop.
i flagged the cab.
& head home.. str8 home.
paid $3.80 (:
& got off.
was so tired..
went up..
my real daddy open the door for me.
ate what daddy buy for me..
than msg daddy & xiang..
after that talked to xiang.
until i fall asleep.
forgotten how i hang up the phone with him.
hope i didn't sleep talk
& Xiang heard what i not suppose to say :x
boring... really..
hoping i didn't have this life at all..
`Loves ♥.
End.
-I Believe, I Always Believe.-
-I Do Believe in True Love.-
`Without Love. ♥.
`Is Like Painting Without Colours. (:
`Is Like Painting Without Colours. (: